i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My life is pants optional.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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