Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
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OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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