I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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