Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize