Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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