So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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