You're completely useless in the revolution.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is classic penis vs brain.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize