Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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