So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
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Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
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listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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