I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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