So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
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He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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