I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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