I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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