hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
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Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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