she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My breasts were aching with rage.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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