I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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