I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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