so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
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she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
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Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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