I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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