I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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