So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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