I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize