Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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