you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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