Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize