...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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