is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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