I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize