I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize