So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
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i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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