They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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