Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
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HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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