I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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