I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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