Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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