I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize