Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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