Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
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He managed to light the Jello on fire...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
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My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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