Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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