I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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