Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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