Moan for me like Helen Keller
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
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Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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