There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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