Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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