You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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