hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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