I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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