Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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