I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize