john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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